The holidays are an opportunity to celebrate with family and friends.  Alcohol use is an accepted ritual at most holiday parties.  Responsible alcohol use (for those who choose to drink) is advisable for all of us, but especially so for parents with children.  Children are our future and we must, as parents, be models of healthy behavior.  Why?  To make our community a better place to raise our children.

     Many family problems can arise, especially during the holiday season, when parents misuse alcohol.  Most parents do not deliberately set out to get drunk, but when this happens in front of their children, the effects can be profound and lifelong.  The short- term effects of drinking too much alcohol include drowsiness, dizziness, a loss of coordination skills, and an inability to think clearly, as well as an inability to estimate distance and an increased reaction time.  Alcohol affects speech, balance, coordination, vision, and judgment.  When drunk, people often say things they may regret when they sober up.  We have all seen people who have had too much to drink make fools of themselves.  And party messes (including unfinished drinks and half full beer bottles) are not something children should wake up to the next morning.

     There are many dangers to children in the home where these things go on.  Hospitals report a sudden spike in alcohol poisoning among children during the Holiday Season.  Unattended drinks and thinking, “It’s cute to give Susie a sip to help her sleep,” can result in vomiting, coma and death to a child.  Also, excessive physical displays of affection brought on by a loss of inhibition can leave a child open for exploitation and abuse.  Never force a child to kiss a relative.  Such behavior can stimulate or exacerbate an adult problem and cause great fear and confusion in a child.

     The holidays are already stressful enough.  Alcohol does not relieve this stress, and may ultimately increase it.  Excessive alcohol use, which results in inconsistent parenting and disrupted routines, impacts toddler and teenager alike. 

     Drinking parents are less aware of where their children are and what they are doing.  Children left to fend for themselves during a party or week of partying often get lost or caught up in dangerous activities.  Accidents happen when there is a reduced awareness of the environment.  Letting an overtired and overstimulated eight-year-old wander around until he falls down the stairs or is taken to bed by distant cousin Freddie may be minimized or ignored by a drinking parent. 

     At the same time, the 16-year-old who misses curfew because his parents are partying might be overlooked by the parent.  Not only can this leave the teenager open to trouble that night, it can also be a problem at a later time, when the teen reminds his parents of how they let him break curfew rules because they were drunk.

     Violence, both verbal and physical, is commonly seen when there is heavy drinking.  Children who witness or experience violence suffer deeply in most areas of normal development.  Older children who see the effects of drinking may take on parental roles at an age that can affect them for life.    A drinking person will promise the world during the moment, but not remember when the next morning comes. 

Children who experience broken promises feel confused, rejected, and burdened with a growing inability to trust.

     Children watch their parents from birth.  They look to us to learn how to be in the world.  They imitate us and want to be just like us.  They expect us to nurture and care for them.  Many learn early on that this is not always the case. 

     If alcohol is a problem in the home they soon learn to keep the secret, they become ashamed of their home, their parents and themselves.  They may express their anger openly (causing turmoil, fighting, drinking/drugging) or internalize it by isolation, sullenness, self-injury and overeating.

     Think before you drink this Holiday Season. Minimize the risk that alcohol poses to you and your family.  Listen to your children.  If they don’t want to kiss Uncle Harry or if they think that Aunt Louise is creepy; pay attention.  Our children are our most precious possessions.  Do not expose them to fighting, drunkenness and other unhealthy situations. 

     We are the adults and we are expected to be mature.  Our children are just learning to be mature.  It is our responsibility to be good role models for them, to keep them safe, and to teach them appropriate behavior. 

     They are watching us during this holiday season.  Will they be disappointed?

     (This is a guest editorial by Brianne Fitzgerald, RN, MPH, who writes on health and wellness issues for South Boston Online)